Strip Poker Night
by SaintsEmpressJae
Summary: The SR1 Lieutenants and the newest recruit decide on a fun game of strip poker over at Tee-N-Ay. Some VKs decide to crash the party. (Just a fun little fill for the SRkinkmeme)


**Saints Row Prompt:  
**

**Open character**  
So, this came up in a discussion... I wanna see strip poker (preferably SR1 crew but I'm not fussy) but when most of 'em are down to their smallclothes they get attacked by a rival gang! Naked fighting ahoy!

P.S. Johnny so counts his sunglasses as at least one item of clothing.

**_disclaimer: Everyone belongs to Volition, and so does my heart._**

* * *

"Fuck."

The other 4 hooted as Johnny stood, showing no shame as he pulled his first shirt off, tossing it over Lin's head with a wink. The latter unimpressed as she shrugged it off, shuffling the cards and taking a drag of her cigarette. Her cousin laughed at the man from afar, as Troy and Dex merely shook their heads. Lin dealt out the next hand, as the door to their private room over at Tee-N-Ay promptly shut.

"You better watch yourself soldier, you're gonna be done before Dex is."

"Shit. That mothafucka will be out with the next two deals. Can't believe Jae's still in though." Johnny chuckled as he sat back down and scooped up his cards.

"Fuck off, Johnny, I'm getting better!" the newest saint had the next round of beers in her hand as she took her spot between her cousin and Troy.

"Hah, right and that _'Spa'_ of yours is just for _"Haru and Naru dushine onry."_ he laughed at his terrible attempt a stereotypical sounding Asian. This earned him a backhand to the chest from Lin, making him laugh harder, "Oh shit, don't be offended ladies," he set down his cards and chugged half his beer, "I'm yellow too!"

Lin rolled her eyes as she flipped the river. Troy immediately groaned and threw his cards down, removing his first article of clothing for the night. The two girls giggled as Dex rounded up the cards, "Shit, about time your ass had to join the party."

"Yeah right, how many turns you got left Dex? one hand's not gonna kill me." Troy replied as he lit a cigarette, handing the lighter back to Lin and nodding in her direction, "Though, I have a feeling we're about be crumble at the might of Lin once again."

"Hah! Not my fault you guys all have shitty luck." Lin tossed a wink to her cousin, "Guess the ancestors favor me most"

"Probably super offended at Johnny's lame attempt to fit in. I only have a pair." Jae set her cards down.  
"Three of a kind for me." Dex set his down and finished his beer.  
"Full house." Johnny smirked  
"Oh ho- whaddya know, me too." Lin replied before setting her cards down.  
"Fuck that, I got trip queens."  
"Shouldn't make fun of your ancestry Johnny, "Lin grinned as she finished her cigarette, "Kings. let's see those abs, big boy."

"Motherfucker."

* * *

The Saints were on their 5th round of drinks when the poker game claimed its first victim. Dex opted to stay in his boxers, rather than risk his final hand and as punishment, had to run down to the bar and retrieve their next round as such. Jae was in a tank and her boy cuts, opting to remove her bra on a previous hand for the sake of a shirt, and Troy almost identical, in boxers and his undershirt. Johnny however, having just lost his pants, was absolutely willing to go one more round and Lin, having not lost a single item yet, was humorously taunting him.

"I told your ass before! You're next! one more motherfucker!" she laughed as she chugged down her last beer, slamming the bottle on the table, finger pointed at Johnny.

"Fuck that, I still got my glasses on."

"WHAT?!" the collective groan covered Johnny's laugh as Jae tapped a drunk finger to his nose, "Thats….completely…cheating…!" her words slurred.

"Psh, its like using your shoes, I'd let you."

"You said mine didn't count!" Jae pointed down to her feet.

"Well yeah, fuck those. Those are flip flops."

Johnny dodged the empty bottle thrown his way.

The bottle hit the floor, as a much louder -crash!- was heard outside in the main lobby of the strip club. The 4 stood, attention set to the window, as Troy cautiously went to peek through the blinds.

"Where's Dex?" Lin snapped.

"Shit." was all Troy said as he pulled the shades slightly so the others could see. The VKs had posted up in the lobby, and were causing trouble with the few straggling Carnales that were about. Tables were being flipped as a couple of shots were fired. Strippers were running for cover, while everyone else was running for an exit.

"Maybe we should just post up here. Wait to see if they leave."  
"We should find Dex."  
"Eh, I'm sure he's fine."

Johnny walked up to the window, pushing the blinds back with bravado, "Fuck that! Let's go have some fucking fun!" He pulled a grenade from his jacket pocket and opened the door, pulling the pin and immediately throwing it out into fray. A few VK's noticed the grenade and took cover, then shot in the direction which it came, effectively shattering the windows to their room. The 4 ducked behind the table as Johnny laughed,

"Fuckin A! Now we're talking!"

* * *

He swiped his jacket from the back of a chair and burst through the shattered window, pistols in hand and cackling. Lin rolled her eyes as she cocked her gun and quickly followed suit, calling after Johnny to at least put some pants on. Jae and Troy didn't have the luxury either as three men in yellow came to check out the room. Jae quickly pulled a knife from her bra on the floor and tossed it right between the eyes of one. Troy then got the jump on the other with the gun, leaving Jae to fend off the last. She landed a sweet sucker punch, and managed to slam his head into the table, effectively knocking him out, when a gun went off behind her. A pain quickly shooting through her arm as Troy cursed and head butted his attacker, grabbing his gun and shooting the man in the chest.

"Shit, Jae are you okay?" He ripped his shirt off and tied it around her arm.  
"Yeah, just a little graze," She hiked up the one strap on her tank that was still in tact. She looked over at the almost naked man and chuckled, "Guess you're the next loser huh?"  
He noticed his appearance and laughed, "Guess so, no way in hell I'm betting my boxers. Unless I can count my chain?"  
"Only if you want to be a cheating ass like Johnny."

The two chuckled and headed toward Lin. She had just snapped the neck of a VK trying to get the jump on Johnny. The man had two big guys on either side of him, and still had a smile on his face, until the one man ripped the arm on his jacket. Johnny cursed and mashed their heads together, throwing them to the ground and putting bullets in the chests. he pouted sadly as Lin laughed, "All that shit, and you're gonna cry over your jacket?"

"I fucking love that shit." Johnny sat on a stool.  
"Dex can fix it, I'm sure. You know he loves sewing." Troy patted his friend's back and laughed, "You'll be alright."

Jae and Lin looked around the wreckage, but didn't spot their missing friend.

"Dex! Dex! You still around?!" Jae called out in the mess.

The stage lit and girl's giggles could be heard under a man's confident tone. The boys roared with laughter, as Jae looked to her cousin in confusion. Lin chuckled, "Someone thought he'd try to play hero in his underwear." as she started up the stage. Troy followed suit and added, "I wonder if he's got his cape."

Jae looked over at Johnny and laughed as she tugged on his jacket, "You know, you can't put clothes back on, that's cheating."

Johnny grinned at her and promptly removed his pocketknife, "You know what else is cheating?" He quickly ran the blade through the other strap of her shirt, the cloth falling to the ground as he jumped up to follow the other two, laughing as he dodged the array of debris that followed his path

"You fucking little shit!" Jae wrapped her arms around her top and followed the crew behind the curtain, hopefully the strippers had some extra tassels lying around.


End file.
